Mark has lived in San Francisco since 1994, building a life in the city’s queer and leather communities as an electrician, bathhouse worker, and longtime fixture of local nightlife. He has been out since he was 17 and never felt the need to hide who he is. “It was never a problem for me,” he says.

But his life has also been shaped by survival.

Diagnosed with HIV in the early years of the epidemic, Mark watched many friends die and navigated a time when even doctors barely understood the disease. Still, he never framed his life around fear or timelines.

“I should have been dead years ago,” he says. “But I had more things to do.”

That outlook became his way of living: not planning too far ahead, but staying anchored in the present. One day at a time. One moment at a time.

Connection Through Shanti

Katy, now Shanti’s HIV Programs Director, first met Mark years earlier while supporting him through housing services. When she later joined Shanti, she made sure their connection continued.

“Mark has lived in San Francisco for so long and been an important figure in nightlife and the leather community,” Katy says. “He has amazing oral history to share. He’s also a natural mentor figure with a sort of radical acceptance approach to life born out of his unique experiences.”
But what stands out most to her is not just what Mark receives—it’s what he gives. “The relationship is mutual,” Katy says. “Mark is giving us just as much as we hope to give him.”

She reflects on how easily people like Mark—longtime LGBTQ+ elders, long-term survivors, and cultural builders—can go unseen in a city they helped shape. “Without Shanti, we might have passed by each other a hundred times,” she says. “Shanti is the link that brings us together.”

Meeting Crown

Through Shanti, Mark was later connected with Peer Support Volunteer Crown. From their first meeting, something clicked.

“He was warm, generous, and very welcoming,” Crown recalls. “And incredibly patient with me.”

Their relationship is not clinical or structured. It’s simply companionship—a steady presence, a place to talk, laugh, and be human together. “There’s value in the relationship,” Crown says. “We talk about life, death, and everything in between.”

What makes the connection feel so natural is their shared sense of humor. Years ago, after a stroke, Mark’s sister told him he could either be an asshole or be silly. Mark chose silly. It’s one of the reasons he and Crown clicked so quickly—the same playfulness and joy that guide Mark’s outlook on life are qualities he sees in Crown, too.

For Mark, that connection means everything. Crown isn’t there to provide medical care or solve problems. They are there to share stories, laughter, and the simple comfort of showing up for one another.

One Day at a Time

When asked about stress, Mark shrugs off the idea of worrying about what comes next. After surviving the early years of HIV, he stopped thinking in timelines altogether.

“I was told I wouldn’t live long,” he says. “So I just went with it.”

For Mark, HIV became not a death sentence, but a life sentence—one that taught him to stay in the present.

Today, at 74 years old, he continues to approach life with curiosity, humor, and acceptance. Asked what he looks forward to most these days, he pauses. “Nothing,” he says with a smile.

Then he thinks for a moment. “Or everything.”

The answer perfectly captures the way Mark has chosen to live his life. Not by chasing some distant future, but by appreciating what is here now.

One day at a time. One connection at a time.